


Never Go Back

by Lalaith_Quetzalli



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: Actually a Lawyer Mike, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Deals, Fix-It, M/M, Original Character(s), Season/Series 05, Secret Identity, Secret Past, Secrets, trial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 05:55:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14013636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lalaith_Quetzalli/pseuds/Lalaith_Quetzalli
Summary: There are some things in life one can never go back to or get back from, and then there are those that will come to us, whether we want them or not. Some battles can never be won and others can, even if not always by us; not all wars need be fought alone. In the end, we are who we are, and the world is what it is.





	Never Go Back

**Author's Note:**

> So... my mom spent several weeks binge-watching Suits on Netflix, and much as I might not have wanted to, here we are. I warn, I did not watch every single chapter, but enough, and with all the thing in prison, the series was driving me crazy and I couldn't help but think, why couldn't they solve this before Mike ended in prison?! Of course, solving meant Mike would have needed to be a lawyer, and how could that be without pretty much erasing the whole series... yeah, that's more or less how my mind came up with this.
> 
> This fic is Marvey all the way. While I have nothing against Rachel, and she and Mike have had good moments in the show (and I certainly admire her loyalty to him), they just don't seem to fit completely for me. She says it herself at one point in the show, how Mike and Harvey keep having all these secret conversations she cannot understand. And I know many people put those two as a bromance, and that's just find too... I just couldn't help but make them romantic. Also, the one thing I couldn't stand from Rachel was her not understanding Mike enough to know that he would never, ever, turn on Harvey (where it came to the deal); the only reason he sort-of did it when Jessica threatened him was because he honestly believed he could make up for it, that he'd end up back on Harvey's side eventually... he made a mistake, and learned from it. Rachel, if she loves Mike, should have understood all that. That's why I went with Marvey rather than canon pairings with this.
> 
> There are some very light references to the Sherlock fandom, nothing direct I promise, this is not actually a crossover.
> 
> There are some OCs, one that is particularly important. I wanted to give Mike someone he could have on his corner, kind of like Harvey has Donna. Didn't want it to be Rachel because I didn't want to mess up things on that front so, that's pretty much where Cassia comes from. If you're interested, Sarah Bolger is my dreamcast for her. 
> 
> I played a bit fast and loose with ages and the timeline here. Like, Mike's parents died when he was younger, when the thing with that Math exam happened, that kind of thing. I know I'm not the first person to do that, but thought I should warn you anyway. 
> 
> The italics are flashbacks (and in the last scene, a quote), they're also going backwards chronologically, in case you wonder. The main story is going forward. 
> 
> More notes at the end. Don't read them before reading the fic please.

Never Go Back

_By: Lalaith Quetzalli_

_There are some things in life one can never go back to or get back from, and then there are those that will come to us, whether we want them or not. Some battles can never be won and others can, even if not always by us; not all wars need be fought alone. In the end, we are who we are, and the world is what it is._

What is past is past, never go back.

Not for excuses, not for justification, not for happiness.

You are what you are, the world is what it is.

~ Mario Puzo

* * *

" _Are you sure about this Mikhael? You know if you do this, if you walk out that door, you can never come back. The boss… he won't…"_

" _I know, but I need to do this Cassia. It's one thing for me to almost get killed. I knew what I was getting into… mostly. But it's not fair to Grammy. I need to think about her. I need to keep her safe, and this is the best way."_

" _Will you be able to handle it? Living like everyone else? Like the…"_

" _The normal people?"_

" _I was going to say the stupid people, but whatever you wish to call them."_

" _I'll endure."_

" _Then I wish you the very best of luck."_

" _I will let you go at that and may we never meet again*."_

"…"

" _Really? Not even that one? But that one came from Tolkien!"_

" _Only you Mikhael, only you…"_

" _Mike. From now on I'm just Mike."_

**xXx**

He knew he was going to take the deal. From the moment it was put on the table. It was the only option. Mike's not stupid, he'll never survive seven years in jail, not with his mind… and his track-record (both the one everyone knows, and the one most don't). The other deal was never an option, it's a joke, and not even a good one. As if he's ever going to turn on anyone at PSL… on Harvey! No, he'd never do that. Truth is, he'd rather go to prison for all seven years than ever even consider turning on Harvey.

He's in love with Harvey Specter. It's a fact he acknowledged a long time ago, just a few seconds before he decided never to do a thing about it.

Rachel… she was good, nice, gorgeous… but nothing more than a dream. He always knew that. It's why having a 'relationship' with her was so easy, he knew it'd go nowhere, and that was alright. It was just one more piece in his life: the successful lawyer dating the pretty, nice girl. There was even a point where he considered doing it for real, taking it seriously, going all in… then he realized how stupid the mere thought was. What could he offer a woman like Rachel Zane? He had nothing, he was no one. Mike Ross, attorney at law, wasn't real! No matter how good his luck might seem to be at any given time, he always knew it wouldn't last forever. Eventually it'd come to an end, and he'd be exactly back where he began, or worse even. In the end, he'd nothing to offer Rachel…

And he'd nothing to offer Harvey either. For a brief time he had it all. Everything he could have ever dreamed of, and all the things he could have never imagined too. He was Junior Partner in an amazing firm, had the friendship of totally incredible people: like Donna Paulsen, Jessica Pearson, even Louis Litt! And Harvey… the greatest and most unbelievable man Mike had ever known, considered him as good as family. He might have never said it outright, but Mike could read between the lines.

Mike's life has always been a bit of a mess. Comes with being a genius, perhaps. His life hasn't been the easiest, but he cannot say he regrets it either. The last five years have been the most amazing of his whole life, and he knows exactly who he owes it all to. So no, he won't turn on Harvey… he's willing to go to prison for him though. For him and for everyone else.

Briefly (so very briefly) Mike considers saying the truth. About him, his past, his qualifications. Cutting his own deal. It'd get him out, he knows, but he'd still loss so much… and there's no guarantee Gibbs wouldn't go after the others (after Harvey) once Mike was no longer at her mercy… in fact, Mike's quite sure that's exactly what she'd do, were she to discover that she could no longer prosecute Mike.

So he'll take the deal. He'll do the two years at Danbury, and hope the others at PSL can deal with the fallout… and that they won't hate him for all the troubles he's brought upon them (that Harvey won't hate him for laying down and taking it, when he promised him he wouldn't). Truth is, Mike's not sure if Harvey's truly that confident that they can win… or if it's just his stubborn nature that keeps him from even contemplating that losing is a possibility (perhaps even a surety).

Mike understands law, and how it works, better than most would expect. Perhaps his experience has not been the most… orthodox, but it still counts. He knows that even in the best case scenario (the near impossible one), where the jury manages to find him innocent… that doesn't mean the judge will allow it. The jury might be convinced by the fact that Mike didn't really hurt anyone, that he, in fact, helped people (a crime with no victims, like Gibbs herself said during the trial); but that would be a verdict following their own feelings, rather than the evidence… it's not the kind of verdict a judge is likely to allow to stand.

So there he is, before Anita Gibbs, signing the deal that will send him to prison for two years, and will probably ruin the rest of his life; but it will also protect all those he cares for, those he holds in his heart. So, without hesitation, he signs.

**xXx**

" _Mik… Mikhael! Listen to me. Stop pacing and listen to me. Are you sure you wanna do this?"_

" _How can you… how can you ask me that Cassia? You know as well as I do what that bastard's done. And it's not just what he did to William directly but… the way he's playing with the people, with the world! Who even knows what he might be planning next! We cannot just let him get away with it. Everyone else might be too afraid to build a case against him, but I'm not. I'm willing to do this, for William, and his family, and all of us too. To make sure he can hurt no one else every again. I'm willing to go all the way to the end… and I thought to were too."_

" _Of course I am, always. You must know that. But you need to know… this will be dangerous, very dangerous. It's not the kind of job you signed up for."_

" _I signed up to do what's right, to use the law to protect those that need to be protected, and punish those that ought to be punished. Also, it's the right thing to do."_

" _Yes, it is. And I promise you, I'll always have your back. He will not get away with this."_

" _No, he won't. We'll make sure of that."_

**xXx**

Mike isn't 100% sure how they ended in the judge's chambers exactly; though, aside from that detail, things are going pretty much how Mike expected. Harvey is roaring to the high heavens, trying by all means to invalidate the deal; and even though there's actually a clause in the signed deal that says Gibbs cannot try and make a deal with Harvey, she's trying to use the loophole of the man being the one looking to make a deal, to get him even with everything Mike's done to ensure that doesn't happen. Mike is forced to remind Gibbs why that cannot happen, and Harvey of why he won't allow it. In the end, the judge's eyes fall on him.

"Are you absolutely sure, Mr. Ross?"

Mike opens his mouth to pronounce the response that will seal his fate, when there's an unexpected knocking on the door. Followed by the very door opening slightly before the judge can say a single word.

"Excuse me, Judge Ralls…?" Her assistant calls, shyly.

"Rita, I'm busy..." Ralls begins.

"I know ma'am, and I tried to explain that to her but she insists and…"

The assistant cuts off the moment the door is forced fully open, a woman striding in without hesitation. She's tall, slim, dressed in a tasteful charcoal gray skirt-suit with a blouse in a pink so light its almost white, sensible medium off-white heels on her feet; her brunette hair is pinned at the back of her head in an elegant half-twist, and her dark-blue eyes are clearly visible. In one hand she's holding a briefcase, in the other an ID.

Mike's jaw drops the moment he lays eyes on her. Just for a moment, though Harvey, who cannot help but be aware of Mike every second, picks up on it.

"Your Honor," She calls the moment she reaches the front of the room. "My sincerest apologies for barging in without permission, but I decided the situation merited it."

"And what's the situation?" The Judge asks, honestly curious.

"Who are you?" Gibbs demands a moment later.

"Cassia, Security Service for Her Majesty's Government." The woman announces, showing her ID to all those present.

"That cannot be valid!" Gibbs hisses. "It doesn't even have your last-name."

"I belong to a very… particular branch of MI5, where there are no last-names." She explains evenly. "If you wish I can give you a number to contact my direct supervisor, he'll confirm that I'm exactly who I say I am… of course, he'll also be quite displeased to be bothered at this time. Especially considering that you made it necessary for me to be here at all."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Gibbs demands, hackles rising.

Mike knew what was coming right before it happened and he took a deep breath, bracing himself. Without him being quite conscious of it his eyes turned to search for Harvey's, pleading him silently to forgive him for this last lie, this last secret…

For all answer Cassia puts her ID away, opens her briefcase and pulls out a file, which she then opens one-handed, placing it before Judge Ralls.

"As you can see, you cannot possibly accuse Mike Ross of fraud, or of impersonating a lawyer." Cassia says out-loud.

Judge Ralls says nothing and she looks through the papers in front of her. It's all there. In black and white (and some in color too). Diplomas, certificates, degrees…

"This is impossible!" Gibbs almost seems to be snarling by that point. "Mike Ross never went to Harvard!"

She so believed the case was in her pocket already…

"No, he didn't." Cassia agrees, plucking the right paper from the file and placing it before the DA before adding: "He went to Oxford."

Gibbs is absolutely gobsmacked, and even Harvey seems to be totally speechless. Mike cannot help himself, his hand reaches out for Harvey's without him being quite conscious of it, needing the contact, the reassurance. He needs to know that Harvey will not abandon him now. Harvey responds instantly, their fingers entwining. It doesn't last long, but it doesn't need to, brief as the touch might be, it's enough.

Some more things are said, probably. Mike honestly isn't paying attention. Though he cannot help but notice when Gibbs leaves, slamming the door behind her. She's lost, there's no way for her to salvage anything, not the case, not her dignity, nothing, and she knows it.

"Mr. Ross." Judge Ralls calls him back to the present. "Mind explaining why this is the first I'm hearing about any of this?"

Mike opens his mouth, then closes it, twice; not quite knowing how to answer to that.

"I'm afraid that would be our fault, Your Honor." Cassia intervenes, directing the judge's attention to the last few pages in the file.

Those include a non-disclosure agreement, as well as papers for a change of identity, and some regarding protection. There are no details available, as most of the content in those papers is blacked out.

"A Witness Protection Program?" Ralls inquires.

"Something like that." Cassia replies with the lightest shrug. "I'm afraid I'm not authorized to share any further details. The reason why you didn't know about this was because all this was sealed when Mikhael left us. That was the agreement. I suspect it may also be why he never called on us for help when trouble started." She directs a dirty look at him over her shoulder. "We only became aware of what was going on recently. It took a while to make the necessary arrangements. But here we are now."

"Very well." Judge Ralls knows there's a lot not being said, but she can deal with that. "I suppose there's nothing left to say except that all charges will be dropped. Mr. Ross, you're free to go."

"Thank you, Your Honor." Mike bows his head at the woman, grateful.

The moment they are out of the Judge's office, Cassia's whole attention is on Mike.

"We need to talk." Is all she says before walking away, knowing he'll follow.

Mike hesitates for all of two seconds before she calls over her shoulder:

"Mr. Specter, you're allowed to join us if you wish."

That's all that's needed. They go.

**xXx**

" _So… this is it."_

" _This is it. Schools over, time to actually join the real world. Well… for a value of it, considering you're off to be a spy and I'll probably spend the next few years getting lost in the archives or something crazy like that."_

" _You do know that MI5 is nothing like they show in the movies, right? Also, you're not being left to work the archives. There's no way they'd hire you just for that."_

" _You think anyone is going to trust a 17 year old to actually take on cases?" He snorted. "But that's alright. I can be patient. It'll give me time to read up on and understand everything I might need in the future."_

" _Isn't your mind beyond full already?"_

" _Never." He smirked, but it softened soon enough. "It's been great you know, spending all this time with you."_

" _Oh no, you're not saying good bye Mikhael. We might be off to work at different places, but that doesn't mean we'll never see each other again."_

" _You promise?"_

" _I promise. And for the record. You're my best friend too."_

**xXx**

Mike didn't notice that Harvey was still holding onto his hand, not until he lets go once they are all inside a private room. The sitting room of a suite in the Four Seasons; which means they spent the walk through court, the ride in Cassia's rented car, and the walk through the hotel lobby and in the elevator all the way to the private suite, holding hands. It's not that he minds the hand-holding, what he actually minds is the letting go…

"Explain." Is all the older man says.

"I… I can't…" Mike practically gasps.

"If you don't trust me…" Harvey begins.

"This isn't a matter of not trusting you!" Mike cries out. "This is a matter of promises I made long before I ever knew you Harvey. I swore I would never…" He cannot help but turn to Cassia, who's staring at them with an aloofness Mike knows all too well, he's never minded it, he knows there's more to her than that; in that moment in rankles, it rubs him the wrong way. "What are you even doing here Cassia?!"

"Saving your arse?" She almost snaps.

Coarse language is so unlike her… it's obvious his actions (and in-actions) have angered her, but Mike just cannot bring himself to regret any of it. Cassia is not his priority right now, Harvey is. She might have once been his very best friend, as good as a sister even… but that was a long time ago, more than a decade, and while there was a time when he couldn't imagine being without her, that's long since passed. He doesn't need her anymore. He does need Harvey though. Harvey who trusts so few, who dared trust Mike almost from the very beginning, who kept trusting him despite all the times Mike failed him, despite the risks, which became so-very-real… Harvey who seems to be but a moment away from turning his back on Mike, forever. Mike cannot have that. He cannot. He won't survive it. Harvey is… he's not just a friend, or a brother or… Mike loves Harvey in ways he never thought he could love someone, anyone. He knows that if Harvey walks away today, that'll be it, the end, there will be no going back, and Mike cannot handle that…

"You told me there was no coming back!" He practically wails, looking straight at Cassia. "You told me… it was hard. One of the hardest thing I've ever done. But it needed to be done, so I dealt with it. I dealt with it, and I moved on and… and now you're back. And as thankful as I am for you keeping me out of jail, I cannot even imagine what you had to do to convince Him to unseal my file..." He lets out a breath, tired, almost resigned. "Can you not see what you're doing right now? Prison would have been bad but… you're destroying my life Cassia."

Insane as it might seem, he'd rather spend two years in prison than have Harvey look at him as he is right now; and especially, walking away…

"No, I'm not." Cassia insists, before pulling another sheaf of papers from her briefcase, offering it to Harvey. "I need you to sign this."

"What…?" Neither man was expecting that.

"Why should I?" Harvey asks, even as he takes the paper.

"So Mikhael might tell you his last secret." She replies.

That's really all he needs. In seconds Harvey has a pen in hand and he's signing in all the needed spots, not even stopping to truly read the document beyond understanding that they're all a bunch of NDAs… and the one detailing what will happen to him if he ever reveals what he'll learn seems more insane than even some National Security things he's been (unwittingly) involved with in the past.

"There." He practically throws the pen away the moment he's done. "Now tell me."

Cassia takes the papers, putting them away, before stepping back, making it obvious that it's all Mike's show from then on. He doesn't ask just how much he can reveal, even though it's been more than fifteen years, he's confident he knows Cassia well enough to know the answer.

"You know what happened with my parents, when I was eight." Mike starts. "You also know how I got expelled from Columbia in my last year due to something Trevor and I did, which also got me black-balled for Harvard, and right after I'd gotten my acceptance letter too!" He shakes his head. "What you don't know, is what happened in between."

Harvey blinks. Truth was, he'd never considered that. The fact that Mike always talked about his early childhood, or about Trevor and how he got expelled from college, and everything afterwards, he never spoke about his years in middle-school, in high-school…

"After my parents died… Grammy and I couldn't stand living in the same house, going to the same places, not without them." Mike admits quietly. "It hurt too much. So we decided to take off. We went to the UK. It was supposed to just be a vacation. A way to take our minds off what happened, and for Grammy to see her childhood home." She saw Harvey's surprise. "Yeah, you never knew this but Grammy was born Edith Malina Stewart, youngest daughter of a good Scottish family. She married Jacob Ross and moved to America; however, when the rest of the family died-out through the years, she ended inheriting the properties in the UK, sold all but the townhouse in Scotland. Which is where we went after Mom and Dad got killed in that accident. I think… I think she was trying to make things better for me. I was so angry after the accident, because she didn't wake me up. It would have made no difference at all and yet…"

"Being angry was easier than being sad, and you needed an outlet for that anger." Harvey murmurs, showing that, like always, he understands Mike completely.

"Yeah, something like that…" Mike exhales. "She didn't deserve it."

"It is said that we hurt the deepest those we love the most…" Harvey begins.

"… because we want to reassure ourselves that even at our worst someone will still love us." Mike finishes the paraphrasing for him. "That's still stupid, you know?"

"Maybe, doesn't make it any less real."

Mike decided to push that aside for the time being, it wasn't that important in the grand scheme of things. And they still had a story to get through.

"We were supposed to stay two, maybe three weeks." Mike goes on. "It took us six to accept that neither of us wanted to leave. Scotland might not have been the greatest vacation spot, but it was a place that did not make us sad, or angry. It was a place where we could start over. So we did." He snorts. "I lasted all of two weeks in the new school before I was called by the Headmaster. Which… turned out to be a good thing. Apparently certain people had noticed my capacity, and the fact that, even though I'd surprised them enough by going straight to first year of secondary school, being three years younger than the rest of the class; it turned out that I was acing all classes without even trying. They made me an offer. For a special program for genius children. The kind of program you don't even know exists, unless they invite you to it. That's where I met Cassia. I was the new kid, she'd been in the program from the start, as was almost everyone else. Most saw me as competition, she decided she wanted to be my friend."

"Never regretted it." Cassia offers from her corner. "Not even once."

"Neither did I." Mike agrees wholeheartedly, then turns back to Harvey. "I went through the rest of my education there, including pre-law with a valid diploma. I also got accepted into Oxford for Law, full ride. That was perhaps the most intense two years of my education."

"You… you finished a law degree, in Oxford, in two years!" Harvey can't quite believe it.

"The memory helped a lot, and I got enough college credits even before getting to Oxford that I managed to pretty much go straight to sophomore classes." Mike shakes his head. "Like I said, it was intense. But I managed to graduate, even passed the bar! With my own name..."

Cassia and Harvey both snort at that. Of course he's told Harvey about the time he did (and passed) the NY Bar on a dare… he's not surprised if Cassia knows about that too.

"How old were you?" Harvey inquires, curious.

"Seventeen." Mike already knows what's coming next.

He's not wrong. Except for the fact that there are no loud denials, instead Harvey's just staring at him, like he's some exotic specimen under a microscope or…

"You're wondrous…" The words slip past Harvey's lips, seemingly without him even realizing it until they've been said.

Mike goes beet red instantly, and he's quite sure that Cassia's laughing at him, even if she's doing her best to hide it.

"The Program continued until the moment we graduated, so, even though I was in Oxford, and Cassia was off in Cambridge for a good deal of the day, we still spent some time together every day." Mike goes on. "Then we graduated. I went off to be a criminal lawyer and she… she went off to be a spy!"

Cassia snorts but doesn't clarify, it's not like that's important in the grand scheme of things.

"For nine years she was my best friend, my only friend, we promised to stay in contact after we got our jobs." Mike continues. "In the Program they call me just Mikhael. It's my real first name. Even if my papers nowadays read Michael, they used to say Mikhael. Aside from the two of us, there was only one person I was ever, in any way, close to. His name was William. He graduated a few years ahead of us, worked for Scotland Yard for about a year or so before quitting and going out on his own, made a name for himself as a PI."

"Any good?" Harvey wants to know.

"The very best. The world will never know another like him…"

Harvey picks up on the tone underlying that statement, the words Mike isn't saying, he nods.

"When I graduated I was sure I'd be spending the next few years doing grunt work." Mike says. "I mean, who in their right mind would put their case in the hands of a seventeen year old?" He scoffs. "Then the shit hit the fan. William got into trouble, a hell of a lot. He'd been working this case, a double kidnapping, children, from the kind of family you do not wanna mess with. Old family, money, nobility, the whole nine yards. From the night to the morning he went from being the man investigating the kidnapping, to being taken in by Scotland Yard as their main suspect."

"What…? Why?!" Harvey doesn't understand.

"Moriarty." Cassia spits out the name like its poison, and for them it might as well be. "The bastard was such a fan of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, he saw William as a modern-day Sherlock Holmes, and fancied himself into his nemesis, his Moriarty."

"William had been tracking down a number of leads." Mike adds. "Cases that at first seemed to have nothing in common, he began connecting them. A few at first, then more and more. It was… staggering. He brought Cassia and I in. She because… well, the two of them dated at some point. And me because he knew I had everything about law stashed into my head and he wanted to be sure he had everything covered before taking the matter before the proper authorities. I promised him I'd stand by him, help him in any way I could. Then he got arrested. It was…" Mike runs a hand through his hair. "It was insane. I've no idea how it happened exactly, but suddenly everyone was convinced that William was behind those kids being kidnapped, and not just that, but they brought all his past cases into question. Cassia and I… we were the only ones who dared go against the flow, stick up for him and…"

"And you paid for it." Harvey finishes for him.

Mike nods, just once, it's enough. He can still remember (how could he not? With his memory), it's engraved in his mind: Cassia, sitting on the bed in that ER, her lip busted, a cut so close to her eye he cringed just looking at it, not to say for the purple eye and the blood and dirt still on her left temple, and matting her usually gorgeous chestnut brown hair, which right then looked awful. There were more bruises in the rest of her body, he knew, even without seeing an inch of her beneath the hospital gown, the blankets and the bandages; but he didn't need to see the skin, it's in her every motion… and yet, something else he could see, is that she wasn't defeated. She might have been beaten, almost killed even, but she hadn't been broken, not in the slightest.

"I took the case." Mike points out, though he expects Harvey to have deduced that already. "Even against my boss's recommendation, and threats… Lost my job, but managed to still push the case forth. Got William out on bail… turned out to be a mistake."

The mere memory is still enough to make him want to punch a wall, or break something… he doesn't even dare explain.

"We don't know what happened, exactly." Cassia takes mercy on him, explaining that part. "William insisted on going home that night, alone."

"Shouldn't have let him!" Mike practically snarls.

"No, we shouldn't have." Cassia agrees, very quietly. "We found him the next morning. Dead from an overdose."

"Was he…?" Harvey doesn't dare ask the question.

"A junkie?" Cassia finishes for him. "He'd been, in the past."

"He was more of a genius than I'll ever be." Mike states. "The downside is that he got bored far more easily than I do. I deal with boredom memorizing useless trivia he… well… His brother got him out of the drugs and back into the Program. Things were going quite well, until Moriarty."

"You don't think he killed himself." Harvey's words weren't a question but a statement.

"Could never prove it." Mike shrugs. "It was after that that Cassia decided to throw caution to the wind, the two of us began working together to bring Moriarty down. She lost her job and got beat up to an inch of her life for her troubles."

"You said earlier you were MI5…" Harvey cannot help but point out.

"I am." Cassia nods calmly. "Not the kind that serves publicly, goes out on missions. Nowadays I work specifically for one man. He's the only one who believed us, when William died, when everyone was busy throwing dirt on his name; he supported Mikhael's and my work against Moriarty. Technically, I'm his PA, but because of his own position in the government I have the same power and authority as I did when I was still an MI5 Agent."

"I imagine this is also the same man who unsealed Mike's file." Harvey deduces.

Cassia nods, just once. The only piece they keep to themselves is the fact that He is… was also William's older brother, Harvey doesn't need to know that.

"It was worth it." Cassia chooses to go back to their original topic. "Losing my old job, even if He hadn't helped me afterwards. For William, and for you, it was worth it. And besides, it's not like I ended that bad off…"

"Did you get him, Moriarty? Or whatever his name was?" The elder lawyer asks instead.

"Not quite." Mike admits. "Built the whole case against the bastard, then he went and blew his own brains out before he could be arrested."

"We still made sure it all went through, didn't matter if both he and William were dead, there was no way we were allowing William's legacy to be that of a criminal." Cassia adds for good measure. "He deserved to be remembered for all the good he did."

"Yeah, he did." Mike agrees wholeheartedly.

"So… you did all that, then what?" Harvey wants to know.

"Well, then it was finished." Mike states. "I won the case, in a very public manner. Managed to put at least a dozen people behind bars, those we could prove had been working with or for Moriarty. We know there were a lot more, though, and some were caught later on; just not by me. Then… the day the trial was over, there was a drive-by shooting, just outside my house. Total mess, almost got a bullet to my head, and I'll be forever grateful that Grammy had decided to spend that night with a friend from her bridge club, believing I'd be in the mood to 'celebrate'…" scoffs. "I could have handled it, you know? I mean, it's not like I got into criminal law believing that things would be easy, or that I'd never be in danger, I knew better than that. But Grammy… it wasn't fair on her. Especially not when she'd already lost everyone else. So when I was offered a way out, I decided to take it."

"So you came back here." Harvey deduces.

"It was easier than trying to hide in London, the case was so big… it would have been next to impossible to hide back there." Mike shakes his head. "So I signed a bunch of papers, promising never to say a word, agreeing that I'd never be going back. Then changed my name just a little bit, just enough to make it harder for others to find me. And Grammy and I moved back to the States, to NY."

"Why not transfer your degree?" Harvey wants to know.

"An eighteen year old with a law degree from Oxford, having already passed the bar?" Mike snorts. "Yeah, because that would have helped keep a low profile."

Harvey has to agree with him on that one.

"At first I actually considered doing something else." Mike admits, a tinge of melancholy in his voice. "It's why I studied Mathematics and Statistics. I was always good with numbers, and while I didn't like it as much as Law… yeah."

"And yet you applied for Harvard." Harvey reminds him.

"Couldn't help myself." Mike shrugs. "Anyway, we all know what happened after that."

They do. Trevor, and the Math Exam, the Dean and… yeah.

For the longest minute ever no one says a word, and then…

"Now what?" Mike finally asks.

For all answer Cassia pulls a file out of her briefcase, handing it over to Mike. It's basically the same thing she showed to Judge Ralls earlier.

"I've done my part." She announces simply, snapping her briefcase close. "The rest is up to you. I hope you're done sabotaging yourself."

Mike opens his mouth, then he closes it again. Beside him Harvey lets out a breath and that, more than anything else, gives him away. He agrees with Cassia. A part of Mike wants to rant, to scream, to demand that they take back those words… yet there's another part that cannot help but agree. He has been sabotaging himself, how else can one explain all the times he made the worst possible choice, even while knowing it was the wrong thing to do? Yeah. Trevor was his friend, and Mike wanted to help, but he should have known better than to agree to memorize and sell that test; he did know better! Not to mention the pot, if it weren't because of the fact that, without it he might have never met Harvey, he'd probably still be punishing himself over that one.

"No more." He agrees quietly, after what seems like forever. "I've learned my lesson, I promise."

"I hope so." Cassia says with a tired voice. "Not for me, but for you. You're meant for more than prison, or an average life, Mikhael."

"I know." Mike nods. "Just… sometimes it's hard to believe. Especially after all the times I've messed up."

"Even if you do mess up, you can always be forgiven." She assures him. "Your heart's always been in the right place. And that matters."

"I'll try to do better, be better." He promises her.

"And I'll make sure he doesn't forget." Harvey offers his two cents.

It's all the reassurance Cassia could have ever asked for. She knows her dear friend will not be alone. He has someone now, who'll always be on his corner, no matter what, that makes her leave somewhat easier. It's not that she won't miss Mikhael, because of course she will. But truth is that, while she still considers him family (and she knows he feels the same), their paths diverged a long time ago. They each have their own lives now, and that's a good thing.

There are brief goodbyes, promises to stay in touch, to not be a stranger anymore. Then Cassia is gone. Her employer's plane is waiting for her.

Mike stares at the files for what seems like forever. Unable to fully believe he's really looking at those papers. His Oxford Degree, his license… also, Cassia (or probably someone else working with or for her) has made it so that time he passed the bar in NY is actually valid, making it seem as him transferring his degree, sort-of. Also, she even went as far as challenging his expulsion from Columbia. He might not be able to go back, but after signing a few papers and waiting the appropriate amount of time the degree in Mathematics and Statistics will be all his.

"Guess all I need to do now is find a job." He murmurs, mostly to himself.

"You already have a job, stupid." Harvey points out, with more bite than entirely necessary.

"I handed in my resignation." Mike blurts out, not quite understanding what's going on exactly.

"Never filed it." Harvey shrugs, like it's that simple.

Maybe for him it is… or maybe the complexity or simplicity of the thing isn't the point.

"That is, if you want to come back?" Harvey qualifies. "It's your choice Mike, but know that you'll always be welcome."

"You really think that?" Mike cannot quite believe it. "That Jessica will let me go back. Louis?"

"Well, you're legal, so it's not like she can complain about that." Harvey points out. "Also, according to these papers, your involvement in the Moriarty case, at least where that first big trial is concerned, has been unsealed, so you can use that to your advantage if necessary."

"That's criminal law, not corporate law."

"So? It'll still call attention, bring clients and grant you respect. Jessica could ask for nothing more. Besides, I'm quite willing to remind her of a certain talk we had, if she hesitates."

"Talk…" Mike breaks off, suddenly remembering what Donna told him, a few years ago.

"I'm not staying without you." Harvey states for good measure. "So what say you? Are you willing to come back?"

Suddenly Mike has no idea why he's been fighting so hard to hold back the words running through his mind, he says them:

"Back home? Always."

Yes. PSL is Home, and the people there are family, and they always will be.

**xXx**

" _Hello..."_

" _Are you sure you should be talking to me? Because everyone keeps treating me like I'm a leper or something."_

" _Not a leper just… it's not easy, you know? Most of us, we've been here from the beginning, since we were three or four years old. This place… it's an eternal competition. And now we discover that there's someone new, someone who's the strongest competition."_

" _Me!" He eeped._

" _You. Haven't you noticed? You're the youngest of all here. I mean, yeah, we've all skipped grades, that's only to be expected. But none here have skipped as many as you. Put those things together and…"_

" _Nobody likes me."_

" _Give them time."_

" _I don't think it works like that."_

" _Maybe not." She shrugged, disinterested. "I'm willing to be your friend if you want."_

" _Really? That'd be great! Oh… my name is Mike by the way…" He saw her furrow her brow. "What's wrong with that?"_

" _Is that really your full name?"_

" _Well… no."_

" _Here you'll need a strong name… my name is Cassia, by the way."_

" _I… Mikhael, my name is Mikhael."_

" _Pleasure to meet you Mikhael, I'm sure we're gonna be great friends!"_

**xXx**

Harvey and Mike step out of the elevator and into the top floor of PSL to find none other than Gloria Danner waiting on them. She looks to be about to go into a tirade of some kind, until her eyes fix on Mike.

"Oh you're here!" She sounds so absolutely delighted, hurrying to hug Mike.

For a moment, tears fill the corners of Mike's eyes. Gloria is reminding him so powerfully of Grammy right then. The way she worries about him. After the loss of her son she could have chosen to stay away, to refuse to help Mike, but she hadn't. She'd helped him, had believed in him, even knowing that he wasn't a real lawyer (because of course he told her, she deserved to know the truth), she still stood by him. Believing that his actions were far more important than a piece of paper, or what school he went to.

"Tell me you didn't take that awful deal." She half-sobs, half-demands. "That you're not going to prison. I don't want that for you Mike..."

"I didn't take the deal Gloria, and I'm not going to prison." He assures her.

"But… the jury was sent away, no verdict was read." She points out, confused. "I know, I stayed until it was all over."

"No, no verdict, and no deals, for either of us." He clarifies when he notices the nervous glances she's throwing Harvey's way. "It's complicated… lets just say I am a lawyer, have always been. I just wasn't one in this country. And for reasons I really cannot go into I couldn't explain any of that before today."

"Oh..." She doesn't understand, but that's alright, she's happy. "I'm so glad for you boys!"

She leaves a minute later, wishing them the best, and thanking them for all they did for her son. Even if it didn't work out in the long run, even if he died, at least he got to have his freedom, at least people learned that he was no murderer. That matters to her.

A minute later they enter Harvey's office, where Jessica, Donna, Louis and even Gretchen seem to be waiting for them (or at least for Harvey). Rachel is not there, but that's not really surprising, since she and Mike broke up for the last time she's been around them less and less. She's still a paralegal, and still on her way to becoming a lawyer, and Donna is still her friend… but they're just not as close anymore. She's dating someone else, making a life for herself, there's quite a chance she'll be leaving PSL before the end of the year. And that's okay, it's her life, it's her choice not to be family anymore, and there's nothing any of them can do about it.

"So…?" Donna demands.

They talked about it on the taxi, planning on the best way to reveal the truth. Should they explain Mike's story? Or, the part that isn't top-secret at least. The basics of the Moriarty case have been made public, and Mike's involvement in it; what remains a secret is how deep the conspiracy went (the fact that there were at least two government officials arrested, eventually, along with people in Scotland Yard, the Met and even one in Whitehall… yeah, it had been a huge thing). In the end they decide to do it in a simple, direct way.

"Well, I was hoping you might still have that opening, and be willing to have me." Mike says, looking straight at Jessica, as he offers her his file. "My credentials."

"But you're not a lawyer…" Donna begins.

"You never went to Harvard…" Louis mutters at the same time.

"I never went to Harvard, but I hope we might be able to waive that whole only-Harvard thing?" Mike inquires, with his best puppy-dog eyes.

"Not Harvard… that would mean you went somewhere else…" Donna murmurs, confused.

It's probably the first time she doesn't know something ahead of time.

"Was it a good school?" Gretchen asks, intrigued.

"You tell me." Jessica says before he can, pulling out the copy of his degree (the original is in a frame, in a security box Mike will have to go to sometime soon) and showing it around.

"You went to Oxford?!" The outcry is general.

"Why didn't we know about this?" Jessica's voice cuts through the rest. "Why let us, let everyone believe you were a fraud? Why allow for the trial to happen at all?"

"Because until a few hours ago I wasn't allowed to say a thing about any of it." Mike admits seriously. "I lived in the UK for ten years after the death of my parents. Joined a program for gifted children, through which I finished my basic schooling and went to Oxford. I graduated at seventeen. Passed the bar and everything." There's another outcry regarding his age but he pays no attention to it, staying focused. "I expected to have nothing important to do in a few years. Then… things happened. The Moriarty case."

"You were the one behind it." Jessica can barely believe it, and of course she knows about the case, the whole world probably knows about it, to some degree or another. "Why?"

"Because no one else had the guts to do it." Harvey states, seriously.

Also, as it turned out, Moriarty had so many people either blackmailed, threatened, bought… Mike's youth had played in his favor then, as Moriarty never had the chance to try any of his games on him before everything was underway already; and after William's death there was no way Mike would have backed down, not for anything.

"Did you know all this?" Louis demands of Harvey.

"Not until a few hours ago." Harvey shakes his head. "Mike was going to take a deal with Gibbs. Take a guilty plea, go to prison for two years, in exchange of the rest of us going free. I was trying to stop him, to convince him to wait for the verdict." No mention was made of his own attempts at making a deal. "When an old friend of Mike's came in and changed everything."

"When I left London I signed papers leaving that life behind, for my own safety, and Grammy's." Mike elaborates, though without going into the whole murder-attempt, they don't need to know that part. "I went to college again, Columbia this time."

"Yeah, that's here too." Jessica nods. "Bachelors in Mathematics and Statistics."

"Got expelled right before graduation, but with the unsealing of my other records I'll be able to fight it and get my degree." Mike nods. "Would rather be a lawyer, if you're willing to have me still. After everything I've done…"

"You were willing to go to prison." Jessica says. "Refused to turn on us, even though I've no doubt they offered you more than a few chances to do exactly that."

Those aren't questions, but Mike nods anyway.

"I am loyal." Is all he says, is all he needs to say.

That was probably one of the very first lessons Harvey taught him, when first arriving to PSL (back then Pearson Hardman), and it's one he took to heart.

"I don't need to hire you, since I never let you go." She says simply.

Much like how Harvey claims he never took his resignation. It's enough, Mike smiles, thankful.

Donna seems to take that as a signal, letting out a shriek of delight as she practically jumps him, hugging him tight.

It's finally over. And they're all still there, still standing, everything's gonna be just fine…

And then… the most unexpected of all. Mike doesn't realize what's going on, not right away. Not as Harvey takes his hand and pulls, he feels himself falling, crashing against a lean, muscled body. They do not fall, Harvey takes his weight easily, holding Mike's body against his. And still Mike fails to comprehend what's going on, until there's a pair of lips against his.

A single kiss is enough to leave him completely breathless, and in the background he can hear Donna's catcalls, Gretchen seems to be almost cooing, Jessica is most likely rolling her eyes (she definitely is, even if Mike can't really see her, and he's not about to stop kissing Harvey to check) Louis is probably having an apoplexy, and Mike cannot bring himself to care about any of that in the slightest. He cares about nothing except Harvey…

"Harv…" He gasps, breathless, the moment they break the kiss.

"You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how." Harvey whispers huskily against his ear.

"Gone With the Wind." Scattered as his thoughts might be, Mike still picks up on the quote instantly. "Really? That's what you're going with?"

"Think you can do any better?" Harvey challenges him, eyes sparkling.

It takes no time at all for Mike to decide exactly what to reply with: "Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with?"

"Meet Joe Black." Harvey picks up on the quote immediately, of course he does. "Very well, I'll give you this one."

"I liked yours too." Mike assures him, and to prove it, kisses him.

Neither of them really notice when Donna and the others leave, that's not important in that moment. What's important is them, they're there, finally. Mike is a lawyer, Junior Partner of PSL. The firm will survive the mess, and probably be all the better (once the truth about Mike's past is revealed, they'll probably be able to call a few new clients, if only by their curiosity alone). But more important than that: he and Harvey are there, together.

And maybe tomorrow they'll have to sit down and actually talk about what it all means. Working together and actually being together. Harvey is shit at relationships, and Mike's track record isn't the best either; but if there's one thing neither of them doubt is that they love one another. That can never be doubted, not with everything they've been willing to do for each other, in the last day, the last few weeks, the past five years… So no, it won't be easy, but that's okay, because nothing worth having ever is, and what's between them is definitely worth having.

Mike still remembers, when he was eight years old, after his parents' death, the funeral, once they were in Scotland, once they decided to stay there in fact. Grammy had hired a company to get all their things to their new (her old) home. One box had been full of his dad's old novels. Including a couple from Mario Puzo: 'The Godfather' and 'The Last Don'. It was in the latter that he found a quote his dad had highlighted, and which stayed with him for his whole life:

_What is past is past, never go back. Not for excuses, not for justification, not for happiness. You are what you are, the world is what it is._

He still remembers what Cassia told him the day he signed the papers that pretty much put an end to his old life, how he wouldn't be able to go back. And he hasn't. Even if he's a real lawyer again, even if (part of) his past has been revealed; that's not going back, not for him. It's going forward, doing what he loves, with the people he loves. His family… his home. And so there are no excuses needed, no justification… happiness is waiting for him. In the end, he is who and what he is, has always been; and the world… the world will deal. Or it won't. Truth is, Mike doesn't care in the slightest.

**Author's Note:**

> The quote referred to in the first flashback is from Tolkien's "The Hobbit" (the book, not the movie), just in case you were wondering.
> 
> So, I hope you weren't too confused by my way of telling this particular story. It's how my muse decided to do it. Not too much romance, but enough, I think. I hope you liked it.
> 
> Mike's rationalization of the trial and what would have happened if the jury found him innocent comes from watching certain episodes in L&O UVE and in Chicago Justice; where juries announced a verdict which was then cancelled by the judge, because they'd done so due to feelings, rather than evidence. Since there will never be evidence of Mike being a lawyer (since he technically wasn't... my own plottwists in this fic aside), I honestly believe it could have happened. And I deeply hated them telling us that verdict on the series right before Mike goes to prison, found it kind of ridiculous. So, I needed there to be a reason why that wouldn't have been enough.
> 
> The quote... I wanted something to serve as starting point for the fic, and that one seemed good. Something for Mike to base his life on.
> 
> Once again, hope you liked this, please don't forget to kudo (and hopefully kudo this).
> 
> See ya around!


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